30 September 2010

The sky was intensely blue today. So blue I could get lost looking. The trees are turning colors -- which is the tree that has small leave that turn such a gold yellow that I have extra light when walking under them? Those leaves fall quickly as well. Fall brown and crinkly. I love their early fall crunch on walks. These leaves start small and dry smaller and they do not yet demand to be raked. They don't holler for a new chore. Rather, they clump almost neatly on the edges of side walks. Lawns and walks are softened. (Don't ever let me buy a house in the fall. I love the clutter and mess of trees and gardens that disguise all sorts of careless sins.) And now, I see the first red in the trees. Again, I should know a few names and I do not! The red is too bright. It competes with the yellow. A room would be totally ruined if I painted it that color. High up on the trees, that brassy red is loud and proud of itself. I cannot help but salute and smile.

I walk next to our lake. Me and the dog. The wind picks up at this time of year. Her fur and my hair blow. Soon I will be in hats and she will shiver and move much quicker than she does today.

I greet this fall. I wonder where it will take me. So much to learn. So much to process. So much. So much. I miss the old. I miss what I have always known. I miss what I had gotten back and lost again. I put aside all that missing and take in blue and yellow and red. Color fills me up. Color and wind sweep me along. I will think about missing some other day. I will. For now, I travel with the fall. With the change of season. With the change of heart and mind. With a solitude and a strength.

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