22 September 2010

Some movement today -- how can I say? I have not felt overly uptight or frozen inside, but now I feel some breaking up of a brick wall. I will need a lot of shaking out and self renovation before I am myself -- silly phrase -- again.

Late breakfast with friends this morning. Ah, the absolute joys of SAHM-hood. We talked about nothing important and yet, I left with a grin on my face for the rest of the day. These friends are what I am doing for myself. And I am still grinning.

Health insurance, my worry for the last few weeks, may be working out just fine. Big sigh! I couldn't let it cripple me, especially this year. I want to be open to possibilities after I finish my course work. What kind? You may ask. I have no idea, but open I will be. And paying too much for health insurance would have put a damper on everything -- well not everything, but my budget which feels like everything sometimes.

And two things I did today. I sorted our family pictures the past two days and finished what I could find. Yes, Cheshire, there is a missing box. "Missing" means that it is somewhere in the depths of the cellar. It will appear, just not right now. The pictures that were there are in 1.5 plastic boxes (that is, room for a bit more in box 2). I threw out negatives and sorted our lots of pictures that we've taken of relatives and friends that I will send/give to those people. In the old days, we always got doubles of prints for free. Only a few were really given away, and so, I sorted out the doubles and those of others. It eliminated lots of pictures and I hope that those I send them to will enjoy them. Pinpoints of memory.

And I got to look at years and years of David and I and then Cheshire -- holidays and trips, school presentations, band and orchestra, and pictures of our Washington Blvd. house during all sorts of renovations. Such sweetness. I am very glad for them. And yes, I had some tears. I miss that man.

I am taking apart the lovely picture boards that Cheshire put together for David's memorial service. This is hard. I've decided to keep the pictures together in an envelope marked memorial service. I don't know why but it is what I can do. I'm going to post the pictures that I have of those boards. Cheshire made the boards. She and Linde worked hard on them and did a beautiful job. I almost didn't see them until weeks after the memorial. Still, I love them. I love the effort and the love that went into making them.

I put David's phone on Craig's List and his diabetes monitor. I may have sold the phone today. This is a big step for me. Part of me hates to change or move anything -- and I am starting with these because both are almost new and have more value right now than they will in a few months. But there are other things I want to sell as well -- and if not sell, then get rid of. I need a lighter load.

I am watching the Vicar of Digby while I sort pictures. And I will do more of the same when I sort manuscripts. I am avoiding nothing, but there is a need for relief from intensity, and a British tv show is just the medicine.

And I better get going . . . a note came home yesterday that lice was found on a kid in Julia's class. I am just going to wash her hair with that awful medicinal shampoo and change the sheets right now. I know I could wait and check her head but I am awful at waiting.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha, thanks for the personal shoutout on the blog, mom. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Those pictures were wonderful. I saw your wedding pictures they brought back good memories. If it is not to much trouble I would like a copy of your wedding picture with our entire family in it.

Chesire, did a good job. So did you. Look foward to seeing you in October at Barbara's.

Unknown said...

Just read the last few days of your blog Suzanne. It is OK to remember David's birthday : and to have a good cry. You are doing so well with making your new life meaningful and full.

A little info about controlling lice. Neem oil is absoutely brilliant. If you can get it in a spray mixed with alcohol much easier but straight oil, rubbed onto four places on the head really works and is the only thing my daughter and I have found that kills the eggs as well.Available at health food stores.

Marianne said...

Have not worked out how to take my daughter's name out of my google account Suzanne so when you see Alison says it should be Marianne.