05 October 2010

I had planned to do my Friday reading for class and then research today, and I got most of the reading finished, but I dithered during the day and did not do much research. I made a list yesterday of articles and books that I've read or to be read about topics around trauma/attachment. I need to go through some of the books that I haven't looked at since Julia came home. They were how we began with Julia. But I did little with the list apart from making it.

It disappointed me. Where is my discipline?

But it is another month, another anniversary, another day of thought. Three months ago. Three months without David. And it is becoming more normal. Damn. To be normally without David. To be normally alone. It is. It is. I think that I -- my body, my not conscious mind, my soul -- knows to keep the day without letting what is left of me know.

Sense? I don't know. But some form of my reality.

1 comment:

Marianne Fraser said...

Hi Suzanne. You are one brave beautiful woman and you write so well. Don't think about a novel : a book from your blogging would be excellent.

I don't get to read every day and have just read the last weeks worth of your writing in one go. What a lot you manage to fit in to your life and you are so honest about your feelings.

Love the idea of the houses for girls in China, getting ready to be adopted overseas. Could definitely happen : Jerry jampolsky wrote a book over 20 years ago called, "One person can make a difference." From little things big things grow.

Love from Marianne