18 October 2010

Julia is sick. Fever and puny. She asked to lay down after breakfast which amazed me. She never, ever does that. She is drawing at the kitchen table now, and happy as she sniffles and coughs. Cheshire and I are seeing David's folks alone. No need to bring a 9-year-old Wisconsin germ delivery system to her 90 year old grandparents. We'll have an early dinner with Dad and Claire and come back to Barbara's house.

This is not an easy visit. I have a willing mind about all the visiting, but it is hard. David is just not here. And I don't really want to rehash his death and memorial, but I feel like I owe it to his father, and maybe his cousin too. I hope they are kind to me.

Life, this experience of it, does not cease being amazing. Hard as some of these experiences are, I can do them. And I can learn from them as well.

Something is coming. I can feel it. Something of a surprise, some unknown notion, something. And I hope my arms are raised and eyes are trained to catch it.

1 comment:

Sharyn said...

"This is not an easy visit. I have a willing mind about all the visiting, but it is hard. David is just not here. And I don't really want to rehash his death and memorial, but I feel like I owe it to his father, and maybe his cousin too. I hope they are kind to me."

It it so generous of you, in the midst of your own grieving, to make room for others.