13 January 2011

A lazy Julia report

One of Julia's teacher's wrote:

Ms. F. also wanted me to let you know that yesterday Julia was saying some things that were not happening and she wasn't sure if she also said them at home. 1. Ms. F. was teaching the whole class some cursive writing and Julia said she was talking too loud (I think she is used to having Ms. F. working with her 1 on 1.
2. When Ms. F. was helping her pack up, Julia's plastic folder bumped her and Julia said Ms. F.r hit her. Ms. F. explained that is was an accident.
3. Something about Ms. C. being mad at Ms. W. (art teacher) because she stole a folder?

Also, for math, I am starting to have Julia make short books about math, because she has been so interested in that. We started with coins. It may be a way for her to be engaged more consistently in the math and work that into the other things that we are doing.

My reply and of course, thoughts:

First, the behavior you describe is old behavior. (I expect that it has been a bit more of a challenge to keep Julia on task these days also.) I think, and this is only a mother's thoughts, that Julia is cycling back to old behavior because we are doing some good work dealing with Julia's life in China. It is trauma and attachment work. Julia is remembering and talking about how she was treated at the orphanage, and I see her getting more prickly day to day. Talking loudly in appropriately and saying that everything (like accidents) is hurting her is behavior from two years ago. At home, she does realize that she is behaving inappropriately when I call her attention to the behavior. But I can't scold which seems to escalate the behavior. And although she is telling me more of what she does at school, she has not complained about hitting or stealing, so I am imaging that she knows this is her projection on events, not what is really happening. My thought is that doing this work makes Julia uncomfortable on many levels -- physically sometimes -- and that she is looking for ways to explain this uncomfortability. One thing that seems to usually help is a big hug if she will let you do it. It "gets her angries out" and seems to reset her (like a computer re-boot).

And Julia loves Ms. F.

I really hope this is a phase!

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